Jake Borrett's Writing Blog

A Friend Called Darkness

A Friend Called Darkness

You close your sleepy eyes at night

In the darkness you hug your bedsheets tight

But it is not a pitch of blackness which you see

You are with your loved ones, the ones who are no longer, but are now free

The darkness, although scary by name, it really is not

Because if you truly understand, you know it holds a lot

A route, a gateway some say to the other side

To know that they are okay, this you can realise

And whilst there are many future days without seeing their faces

Know that you can always return here, to see them again in other places

Words that attempt to rhyme can be a little forced

So let me break the pattern just to say

Darkness is your friend

Your way to remember the ones we have lost, the ones who have stayed

The ones we truly miss each and every day

Laughter

Laughter

The sound trickles down ears like smooth ice-cream on a hot September afternoon

It puts smiles on children’s faces and eases the heavy hearts of the adults

It makes flowers bloom with the brightest, most colourful petals,

And makes dogs chase their tails, and cats leap into the air

It is the blanket on a cold winter’s night when the sky turns dark and the shadows creep in

It warms the fingers between two touching palms as the fire sparks in the corner

It makes butterflies appear to sprinkle their magical dust on all those near

And wipes the tears of yesterday

Laughter

The Path of 2025

The Path of 2025

2024 was another mixed year.

It was challenging at times including dealing with my Crohn’s disease, where I continue to live with an anal fistula. I have had coughs, colds, warts and various other bugs and medical issues. I have doubted myself; have cried many times in toilets. I have lost family friends, which has been very emotional. This year also marked four years since my dad passed away in his nursing home from complications with his multiple sclerosis. It is strange to think how it is now over four years and how times goes so fast. We should always cherish the moments we have with each other as we do not know how long they will last.

Dyspraxia Foundation also closed in 2024. This brought much sadness because it was an amazing charity, which helped thousands of people living with dyspraxia as well as their friends, family and support groups. I met so many wonderful people and I will never forget the kindness they showed me. I won the Matthew Hunt Award in 2017 for raising awareness of dyspraxia; and completed both a tandem skydive in 2018 and a wing walk in 2022 in their honour. I hope the Dyspraxia Foundation continues in some form and we will all get to meet again soon.

Nevertheless, the year had many good moments too. I spent time with friends and family playing games of poker, pool, bowling and going to the cinema; I continued to write poetry and to speak on the radio, especially on Mix 92.6. I also celebrated my uncle’s seventieth birthday and attended my cousin’s wedding party. Both celebrations gave me the opportunity to spend time with loved ones. I was also lucky to travel including to Croatia; Hungary; and Gran Canaria to see beautiful waterfalls, rivers and sand-dunes.

One big highlight was completing a fire-walk in March 2024 for Mount Vernon Cancer Centre in association with East and North Hertfordshire Hospitals’ Charity. This was an exhilarating experience of walking on hot coals to raise funds for a place where family and friends have received treatment for their cancer. I will never forget this and hope to continue to do lots more exciting challenges in the year to come.

Resolutions For 2025

Like in previous years, I am not going to set any concrete resolutions for 2025 as there seems to be some expectation and pressure to achieve them. However, I want to spend lots of time with the people who mean so much to me; continue travelling the world; building relationships with others; and want to complete some more exciting challenges including for Crohn’s and Colitis UK and other various causes.

Thank you so much for continuing to listen to my experiences of living with Crohn’s disease, dyspraxia, anxiety and depression. If I can help at least one person feel less afraid, embarrassed or alone then it is worth it. Take care of yourselves and one another. Let us make 2025 a great year.

Party

Party

Red and green lights flicker, flicker above my head until their hues reflect in my eyes

The beat of the electronic music stamps, stamps, climbing up the thick layer of my spine

The heat of the room makes my mind go numb and the sweat plunges down my spiky hair

The banging of feet, the drunken laughter and the stench of body odour suffocates

Lights, music, heat, stench, again and again, again and again

I want to scream, to cry, to run, but my legs are lodged into the dance floor

A warm but soft finger brushes against the back of my palm, for just a second

I know it is her

Her

Trying to calm me,

And in this brief second,

It does

Grass

Grass

Just You and I

Lying on the grass

Touching hands

The sky painting stars with the clouds above

29^th February, a Leap Year

A one in a four chance of happening

The breeze stroking our birthmarks

As we sigh together

In this moment, only us

Pages

A Friend Called Darkness

Laughter

The Path of 2025

Party

Grass