Jake Borrett's Writing Blog: 2021

A Traditional Christmas

A Traditional Christmas

Clumps of snow drift from the clouds above, sending the cobwebs away

Presents are unwrapped under the sparkling tree and toy cars are played

Turkey, roast potatoes, stuffing and all the trimmings are filled to the brim

Then it is time for a game of Charades while Grandma Enid falls asleep due to the gin

All before we huddle together around the fire as ghost stories are told and games are won

Until next year, where we will promise to have even more fun

A traditional Christmas is one which I now value so,

As so many loves ones sadly come and go.

Home

Home

White roses hang over the fireplace, dripping, dripping,

Spitting, crackling fragments of flames into the wet air.

Each spark contains a memory that shines as a bright as a thousand stars.

Times laughing over games of Articulate as we imitate our friends and loved ones,

Clinking glasses of coke and lemonade and crying over silly jokes until our eyes fill with joy,

Playing football in the park until our legs tire and the sky turns to dark,

Riding bikes across cornfields as the moon twinkles a trail of glitter behind us,

And stroking lavender across the meadow as the butterflies and crickets sing.

While there are waterfalls, mountains, lakes where birds may soar so high, so far away,

I realise all I need to do is stay, and look into the fire at home and I could be anywhere.

Scatter

Scatter

Leaves scatter into the air after Dad throws them up high

His fingers tremble as they circle in the wind before falling with a crunch

Mum ruffles and sparkles through her own brown eyes,

And my sister breathes out with a relaxed sigh.

Magpies flap their wings as they fly into the watered sky,

As I wonder why. Why do they chirp as they pass by?

The leaves sing a song for the fallen that have passed away

To remember life is precious, each and every day.

She Sits

She Sits

She sits
Her cheeks burn as brightly as the red roses planted in the soil
Her pearly white hair glows like doves flying above in the cloudless sky
Her fingernails rest softly in her lap like fallen petals from the walnut tree
Her smile casts as the sun draws shadows onto the emerald grass
Her laugh echoes through the breeze, ruffling the snails in the undergrowth
Her memories of ballroom halls, ice-cream parlours, walks along the seaside
Flicker, flicker, ninety times
Before sparking with more adventures with loved ones to come

Reminder

Reminder

Sometimes you need a reminder that things will get better. No matter how dark life may seem right now, the storm always passes, the rain clears and sunshine appears.

If you are ever feeling bad, anxious, lonely or are struggling, remember you always can come back to this reminder and know that in time things will improve. There is always someone there who is willing to listen and be there for you. You are not alone.

Wash Away

Wash Away

When you are feeling scared and lonely,
In a world that seems frightening and empty,
When the bookshelves start to shake and your body begins to ache,
When you lose loved ones and have to say goodbye,
When you feel betrayed by friends who are no longer by your side,
Wash away, wash away

Rid the dirt out from your fingernails, the doubt from your heart,
Allow the words stuck behind your tongue to come out with a start
Wash away the dread you must be the only one,
You are not alone, there is always someone
Remember no matter how hard it seems, wash away
And believe that one day you will be okay.

Inside My Jacket Pocket

Inside My Jacket Pocket

I reach inside my jacket pocket and these items fall out:
Earphones to listen to soothing music to silence anxious thoughts;
A £10 note to spend laughing over spilt pints of coke with friends;
The ‘Can’t Wait Toilet Card’ if my stomach starts to scream;
A photograph of Dad running reminding me of when he was well;
And hope, that no matter how bad the day may seem,
Tomorrow can and will be better

Hope For The Future Ahead

Hope For The Future Ahead

No one could have predicted 2020 would turn out the way it did. It has been a very emotional year for a lot of us due to the coronavirus pandemic. We have not been able to spend time with friends and family; have felt unsafe or avoided altogether normal things we usually enjoy such as eating out in restaurants or going to the theatre to watch a play. Our ‘normal’ life of travelling, socialising, living, has been put on hold. It has also been a year filled with loss. I am sorry if you have lost someone to coronavirus or for some other reason. My thoughts are with you all.

For me 2020 was filled with Crohn’s disease flare-ups; a MRI small bowel scan; antidepressants; dark and lonely thoughts; lots of crying in toilets and in bed; and seeing family friends become ill.

One of the hardest parts though was in April 2020 when my dad sadly passed away in his nursing home due to complications with his advanced progressive multiple sclerosis. It has been so difficult not being surrounded by friends and loved ones or being able to hug them when all we felt like doing was crying. We miss his smile, his cheeky laugh and funny sense of humour, his voice, and playing lots of card games and Scrabble. We miss him so much.

Yes, it has been a difficult year and for this reason I was not able to achieve all the goals I set myself at the start of 2020. I was not able to travel or to spend as much time as I would like with all of the people I care about. However, this year has taught me that little things like walking along the seafront or through a lavender field, playing online poker or pool with friends, or dancing around the living room with my mum and sister do matter so much more. I have also learnt to appreciate kind, caring individuals, who make sacrifices and act selflessly. I thank all of you. Thank you for listening to or reading my experiences of living with Crohn’s disease, dyspraxia, anxiety and depression.

Resolutions for 2021

It is currently Friday 1^st January 2021 as I write this article, but this year I have decided not to set any resolutions. Well, aside from one. This resolution is that I hope 2021 will be a better year than 2020. I hope it is a happier, kinder year. So, by the time I write my summary of 2021 this time next year I want to look back and say that we managed to have some joyful, normal times together.

2020 has been an awful year for so many, but as we enter into 2021 all we have left is hope, that things will get better. I like to think that this is an incredibly powerful thing.

Thank you for everything. Here is to hope for the future ahead.

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