C#
I
was diagnosed with dyspraxia by an educational psychologist at the age of
eighteen in March 2013. In five years, I personally believe, the hidden
disability has gained more awareness. A large part of this is down to the
charity, Dyspraxia Foundation, and its supporters for championing understanding
in education, work and health industries.
Dyspraxia
has been discussed in online blogs, newspaper articles, on radio shows and on
television programmes; some of which I have been lucky enough to contribute to.
Doctor Who returned on Sunday 7th October 2018 and features the
character, Ryan Sinclair, who lives with dyspraxia. They have already touched
upon the coordination aspects, such as learning to ride a bike, so it will be
fascinating to see how showrunner, Chris Chibnall, and the other writers
continue to represent the hidden disability on screen.
We
are in the middle of ‘Dyspraxia Awareness Week 2018’, so I wanted to share a
poem with you. C# is a piece inspired
by my experience of being bullied at secondary school; having a dad, who has
primary-progressive multiple sclerosis; and living with Crohn’s disease,
anxiety, depression and, of course, dyspraxia. The piece uses the symbolism of
music throughout. I hope you enjoy reading the poem and get something out of
it. Lastly, as ever thank you so much for your support. You mean so much to me.
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C#
You
spit ‘failure’, ‘loser’, ‘nerd’ and ‘retard’ across littered corridors.
You
punch and kick my inflaming small intestine and twist my trembling fingers.
You
mimic my lisp on school bus rides to and from the twilit playground.
You
snicker as my dad limps along with a dull walking stick during parents’
evening.
Perhaps
worst of all, you grade me a ‘F’ on your musical score of hatred.
You
do not realise I am a C# forever rising, forever shining in the shimmering sky.
You
do not accept I or my loved ones have hidden disabilities and mental health
conditions, but these are only cords on our guitar, strings on our harp.
You
do not believe my name shines in stories, poems, awards and I will keep
climbing the instrumental soundtrack of life.
I
am not a ‘F’ which you can silence.
I
am a C#, forever breathing, forever playing even when the stars turn dark.
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I am a C#, forever rising, forever shining...Copyright © 2018 gesh. All rights reserved.
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