Time

Time

On Wednesday 17^th August 1994 at 6.37am, I was born.

Of course, I do not remember much about being born. However, there is an old photograph which shows my mum, dad and older sister sitting on a bed as they welcomed me into this scary, beautiful world.

I was a hyperactive and clumsy child to the extent my parents gave me the nickname ‘Scooter’, many years before I was diagnosed with dyspraxia at the age of eighteen in March 2013. There were many fun, exciting childhood memories, including kite-flying with Dad; being read to by Mum; and going to the seaside with my sister. We were also lucky to travel a lot and we went to Australia, Canada and the United States of America. One of the main reasons for this is because we wanted to see the world whilst Dad was still able to.

My dad has primary-progressive multiple sclerosis. He was transferred into a nursing home in mid-2011. Before this we cared for him at home. It is so hard to see a loved one in such pain and it was and still is emotionally draining. I have memories of helping him get dressed; taking his medication; cleaning him up after he had a continence accident; the rows between him and my sister; and his frustration of not being able to walk anymore, especially as he used to run half-marathons and loved to cycle and swim.

It is frightening even now because since he has lived in a nursing home he has been in intensive care and has been in a critical condition a number of times with urosepsis and aspirated pneumonia. He is quadriplegic and has other issues, including related to mental health, cognition, behaviour, continence, skin integrity to a name a few. We regular visit him as a family when we can, and often play lots of games with him like Scrabble and Whot; which he occasional cheats at. Still I cannot help thinking one day soon he may not be here, so we have to make the most of the time we have left together.

Secondary school was also a particularly challenging time. As well as trying to balance caring for a disabled dad with homework and examinations, I was also bullied by other boys. I was punched and kicked in school corridors; they mimicked my lisp; belongings were stolen; and they laughed at my dad for walking with an aid during parents’ evening. School was not all bad though as I have some happy memories playing games, laughing and having fun with some amazing friends. I am also thankful to the English teachers and Learning Support Department for believing in me and vastly improving my language, literary, writing and speaking skills. Without you I would not have graduated from University of Hertfordshire with a first-class honours degree in English Literature and Creative Writing in September 2016. This is something I never thought was possible especially as I was predicted to achieve C grades and lower in my GCSEs.

If my life was a film or a novel, one of its themes would be health. Each member of my immediate family lives with a health condition. This includes but is not limited to multiple sclerosis, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis ‘ME’ and asthma. At the age of nine I sat on the sofa in the living room and told Mum my stomach was hurting. After four years of symptoms being branded as ‘imaginary’ and a product of an ‘over-anxious mother’, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. Since November 2007 I have also been diagnosed with dyspraxia, anxiety and depression. Only recently have I found out through an MRI scan I may need to take biologics in order to control the active inflammation inside my small intestine. In some ways these health conditions have made me a determined, passionate and empathetic person. I am sure many of you who are reading this have sadly lost people to cancer and suicide, like we sadly have, and these are just some sore reminders of how time is so fleeting.

This is why since graduating from university, I have tried my hardest to push myself outside of the ‘comfort zone’ despite how terrifying it can be. I am pleased to have done so as I have made some lifelong friends; appeared on radio shows; taken part in creative writing open mic events; raised awareness of physical and mental health charities and conditions; passed my driving practical test first time in an automatic car; and completed a tandem skydive for Crohn’s and Colitis UK and Dyspraxia Foundation. Thank you to my family, friends, teachers, the community and of course you for your kindness, as it does go a long way.

What I am trying to say is time goes too fast. I am twenty-four years old now, but it does not feel that long since I was born. We should try to make the most of the time we have left, despite how difficult that sometimes can be. We should try and do what we enjoy. We should not allow bullies to tell us we ‘stupid’, ‘lazy’, ‘weak’ or ‘retards’. We are not. We are allowed to make mistakes, but we are also beautiful, kind, funny, creative individuals. We should try to tell our loved ones we do love them, and I know I do not say that often enough. It is also okay not to be okay, but it is not okay to suffer in silence. Someone will listen. Thank you for listening to me.

Time is so fleeting...Photographs of Jake Borrett as a baby and at the age of twenty-three. Copyright © 2018 Jake Borrett. All rights reserved.