Hope In Darkness
We
are coming to the end of ‘Dyspraxia Awareness Week 2015’ so I would like to
take this chance to thank you for the amazing support you have all given me
over the last few years. I would also like to take this opportunity to discuss
some of my toughest times at an all-boy secondary school in connection to my
Dyspraxia. I was not diagnosed until aged eighteen by an educational
psychologist, but many areas associated with the condition were present
throughout my childhood. ‘Hope In Darkness’ aims to show that even in our
darkest times there is always light, always hope in the form of incredible
people.
Dyspraxia
in childhood and adulthood can affect our emotions, such as the tendency to get
anxious and we often find it difficult adapting to changes in routine. Personally
I do not like change, and found myself crying at the start of each term at
primary school. I was petrified when joining secondary school, so I wanted to
keep a routine of making sure I had my pencil case, textbooks and personal
belongings on me at all times. I would find myself checking my bag on the
school bus. Unfortunately some of the older boys noticed and used this as a way
to antagonise me. Some would take my belongings, in particular my shoes, and then
pretend to hide or throw them out of a window for a joke. I hated this, but hope
came in the form of other pupils who tried to defuse the situation. For this I
am grateful, but looking back I feel sorry for another boy who had his shoe
thrown out the window. So when I reached sixth form I made sure those in the
years below did not have go through similar situations as I did.
I
have previously talked about my struggles with studying English, but another
subject I found challenging was Music. This proved to be an issue in Years
Eight and Nine with my music teacher, who also the deputy head of the school. Personally,
he had a very strict approach to teaching. In one specific lesson we had to learn
the ‘musical scale’ and we went around the room and everyone had to answer a
question. If we got this wrong our name would be written on the whiteboard as a
warning. I could not understand the theory behind the musical scale and so had
my name written on the whiteboard. I felt humiliated and ran out of the class
crying. The music teacher had a word with me during the lesson, but after I
informed my wonderful family and the incredible Learning Support Staff, the
next day he formally apologised to me. From this point onwards he adapted his
lessons so we only had to answer questions if we felt comfortable in doing so.
One
main area in which Dyspraxia affects is coordination, both in terms of large
‘gross motor’ movements and small ‘fine motor’ movements. The signals sent from
our brain to our body get muddled, which can impact on everyday tasks such as
writing, driving and sport but can also cause clumsiness. This coordination was
a problem in Year Ten. I was walking out of the library whilst a younger boy
was carrying a cup of pasta. He accused me of bumping into him and spilling his
pasta on his shirt. I attempted to apologise but he threw the remaining pasta
all over me, constantly pushed me around the playground whilst demanding I pay
him two pounds. I was trying to find a teacher, but none appeared so in fear I gave
him money so he would stop hurting me. It was not long before this incident was
notified by the school and we had a long meeting. In this meeting the boy’s
behaviour was deemed unacceptable and I was given my money back. Whilst I
appreciated this, what meant more to me was the teacher holding this meeting
was the same music teacher I have just talked about.
One
other area of Dyspraxia which is discussed least is the impact the condition
has on social skills. Some find it challenging to talk in large groups of
people, whilst others take all forms of speech literally. I find it hard making
close bonds with friends and to an extent trusting others. This was tested during
my Geography trip to Yorkshire in Year Ten. This was a week-long trip and
therefore we had to share rooms with other students. I planned to be with four
close friends of mine, but unfortunately due to limited spacing I was given a
room with three others I did not know too well. This along with a change in
routine left me devastated. I tried talking to my Geography teacher on the
first night in Yorkshire but due to ‘safety regulations’ it was not possible for
me to swap. A fellow student of mine, however, was a great comfort in this
conversation and looked out for me during this trip. Even though I managed to
get through the four nights away without my family I did feel like I had missed
out an experience with my close friends.
These
are some of my toughest experiences during secondary school where Dyspraxia has
had an impact. I find them heart-breaking to reflect on, but even more so when
I hear others going through similar situations. I am truly thankful to all
those who helped me through the experiences and to everyone else who has
supported me since. In many ways I like to think the experiences helped me
become a stronger individual.
Since
a very young age I have always admired sunsets. If I was having a bad day I
would look up at the sky and look ahead to a brighter tomorrow. If, though, I
was having a good day I would fully appreciate this moment. In darkness there
is always light, there is always hope.
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| In darkness there is always light, there is always hope...Copyright © 2015- Jake Borrett. All rights reserved. |
