Jake Borrett's Writing Blog

Robin

Robin

The robin sit on the edge of the wooden fence, overlooking

As the snow drifts through the air, dripping, dripping a sheet of glass onto the frosted grass

The sun sparkles sunlight onto a fresh blossomed cherry tree

As the calm wind whistles through the still garden

Silent, for once, nature can rest

As I turn around and kiss his forehead, sleeping tight in his bed

I wish I could stay in this perfect image forever,

But I know I can’t

Change

It takes place and all will be left is a shadow of this moment

Though, every time I have a sad day, when the rain pours and the stars burn,

I can close my eyes, return to this place,

With the robin perched on the fence

Reminding me of Dad

2025 was a very challenging year.

It was difficult dealing with lots of health conditions. I continued to cope living with an anal fistula, caused by complications with my Crohn’s disease. I was also ill with colds, coughs, various bugs and other medical issues. I left lonely, anxious, doubted myself and cried many times in the toilet.

It was also a time filled with loss and grief. In February 2025, a close family friend passed away. He was a man filled with so much humour, wit and character. Then in December 2025, my uncle passed away. He was such a lovely man. He was one of the kindest, caring, generous people I have ever known. We will miss both of them. It is so important to cherish our loved ones, our friends, to hug them tight.

Nevertheless, there were some good moments in 2025. I spent valuable time with loved ones and friends playing games of pool, going to the cinema, visiting sky gardens and cat cafes. I continued to speak and share my poetry on the radio, especially on Mix 92.6. I was also fortunate to be able to travel to countries including Malta and Estonia to see beautiful lakes and colourful gardens.

The biggest highlight however was how my cousin became a father in September 2025 to a beautiful baby girl. She is the first baby in our family for twenty-six years. She is lively, cute and so precious. She brings so much joy. She has been the brightest light in the darkness. We are so grateful she is here and how she has brought so much love to our lives.

Resolutions For 2026

Like in previous years gone before, I am not going to set any concrete resolutions for 2026 as there always seems to be some form of expectation and pressure to achieve them. However like always I want to spend lots of time with the people who mean everything to me including the beautiful baby girl that has entered into our family’s life; to continue travelling to different countries around the world; to raise lots more awareness of what it is like to live with Crohn’s disease, dyspraxia, anxiety and depression; and to complete some more exciting challenges.

As ever, thank you so much for being there for me. It means so much. If I can help at least one person to feel less alone, then it is truly worth it. I hope you have an excellent 2026. Look after yourself and each other.

A Friend Called Darkness

A Friend Called Darkness

You close your sleepy eyes at night

In the darkness you hug your bedsheets tight

But it is not a pitch of blackness which you see

You are with your loved ones, the ones who are no longer, but are now free

The darkness, although scary by name, it really is not

Because if you truly understand, you know it holds a lot

A route, a gateway some say to the other side

To know that they are okay, this you can realise

And whilst there are many future days without seeing their faces

Know that you can always return here, to see them again in other places

Words that attempt to rhyme can be a little forced

So let me break the pattern just to say

Darkness is your friend

Your way to remember the ones we have lost, the ones who have stayed

The ones we truly miss each and every day

Laughter

Laughter

The sound trickles down ears like smooth ice-cream on a hot September afternoon

It puts smiles on children’s faces and eases the heavy hearts of the adults

It makes flowers bloom with the brightest, most colourful petals,

And makes dogs chase their tails, and cats leap into the air

It is the blanket on a cold winter’s night when the sky turns dark and the shadows creep in

It warms the fingers between two touching palms as the fire sparks in the corner

It makes butterflies appear to sprinkle their magical dust on all those near

And wipes the tears of yesterday

Laughter

The Path of 2025

The Path of 2025

2024 was another mixed year.

It was challenging at times including dealing with my Crohn’s disease, where I continue to live with an anal fistula. I have had coughs, colds, warts and various other bugs and medical issues. I have doubted myself; have cried many times in toilets. I have lost family friends, which has been very emotional. This year also marked four years since my dad passed away in his nursing home from complications with his multiple sclerosis. It is strange to think how it is now over four years and how times goes so fast. We should always cherish the moments we have with each other as we do not know how long they will last.

Dyspraxia Foundation also closed in 2024. This brought much sadness because it was an amazing charity, which helped thousands of people living with dyspraxia as well as their friends, family and support groups. I met so many wonderful people and I will never forget the kindness they showed me. I won the Matthew Hunt Award in 2017 for raising awareness of dyspraxia; and completed both a tandem skydive in 2018 and a wing walk in 2022 in their honour. I hope the Dyspraxia Foundation continues in some form and we will all get to meet again soon.

Nevertheless, the year had many good moments too. I spent time with friends and family playing games of poker, pool, bowling and going to the cinema; I continued to write poetry and to speak on the radio, especially on Mix 92.6. I also celebrated my uncle’s seventieth birthday and attended my cousin’s wedding party. Both celebrations gave me the opportunity to spend time with loved ones. I was also lucky to travel including to Croatia; Hungary; and Gran Canaria to see beautiful waterfalls, rivers and sand-dunes.

One big highlight was completing a fire-walk in March 2024 for Mount Vernon Cancer Centre in association with East and North Hertfordshire Hospitals’ Charity. This was an exhilarating experience of walking on hot coals to raise funds for a place where family and friends have received treatment for their cancer. I will never forget this and hope to continue to do lots more exciting challenges in the year to come.

Resolutions For 2025

Like in previous years, I am not going to set any concrete resolutions for 2025 as there seems to be some expectation and pressure to achieve them. However, I want to spend lots of time with the people who mean so much to me; continue travelling the world; building relationships with others; and want to complete some more exciting challenges including for Crohn’s and Colitis UK and other various causes.

Thank you so much for continuing to listen to my experiences of living with Crohn’s disease, dyspraxia, anxiety and depression. If I can help at least one person feel less afraid, embarrassed or alone then it is worth it. Take care of yourselves and one another. Let us make 2025 a great year.

Party

Party

Red and green lights flicker, flicker above my head until their hues reflect in my eyes

The beat of the electronic music stamps, stamps, climbing up the thick layer of my spine

The heat of the room makes my mind go numb and the sweat plunges down my spiky hair

The banging of feet, the drunken laughter and the stench of body odour suffocates

Lights, music, heat, stench, again and again, again and again

I want to scream, to cry, to run, but my legs are lodged into the dance floor

A warm but soft finger brushes against the back of my palm, for just a second

I know it is her

Her

Trying to calm me,

And in this brief second,

It does

Grass

Grass

Just You and I

Lying on the grass

Touching hands

The sky painting stars with the clouds above

29^th February, a Leap Year

A one in a four chance of happening

The breeze stroking our birthmarks

As we sigh together

In this moment, only us

Diving Into 2024

Diving Into 2024

2023 was a mixed year.

It was filled with challenging times including being ill with my Crohn’s disease, which has led to an anal fistula that needs treating. I have had flu bugs and colds; have doubted myself on many occasions; and have cried lots in toilets. Both loved ones and close friends have also had to cope with their own personal health conditions; and it is difficult to watch them go through these horrendous moments in their lives. This year also marked three years since my dad passed away in his nursing home due to complications with his multiple sclerosis. Every day we miss him. My love goes out to all of you who have lost someone. It is never easy, but they will always be in our hearts.

It was also a year filled with some great times too. I have laughed over games of pool, poker and bowling; had trips into London to go to immersive art galleries; taken part in some creative writing open mic nights at University of Hertfordshire; and have spoken on the radio, especially on Mix 92.6, to raise awareness of hidden disabilities and mental health conditions. I have met so many amazing people, to which I can now call my friends.

I have also been fortunate to have gone travelling, including to Cornwall to see the beautiful Lizard Peninsula; St Ives; and Saint Michael’s Mount; attended some fun and memorable shows at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2023 in Scotland for my twenty-ninth birthday; walked by the rivers, canals and waffle shops of Bruges and Ghent in Belgium; and hiked up to some magical places in Switzerland with my cousin. It was 2019 when I last went travelling with him to Slovenia, so it was fantastic to have had the chance to go and do it again. I will never forget this.

Looking back, I did not set any concrete resolutions for 2023. Instead, I wanted to spend time with family and friends, which I have done; and I also managed to explore more of the world; as well as raise more awareness of what it is like to live with Crohn’s disease, dyspraxia, anxiety and depression.

Resolutions 2024

Like in 2023, I am not going to set any concrete resolutions for 2024 as it does seem to be some expectation to achieve them. However, like before, I want to spend time with the people who matter the most to me; want to adventure more into the world both in terms of travelling but also in terms of other relationships, careers and hobbies. I am also considering completing another charity challenge or two for Crohn’s and Colitis UK and Dyspraxia Foundation, among other causes.

This year marks ten years since I first started blogging. Thank you for being there for me and listening to my experiences of living with hidden disabilities and mental health conditions. I would not be here without you. Take care of yourselves and each other, and let us hope the year ahead is a kind one.

Dancing Along A Purple Tightrope

Dancing Along A Purple Tightrope

I’m dancing along a purple tightrope,

Bare toes gripping on, holding on, holding on…

Below are memories of days at the beach, playing games of Articulate, drinking pints of Coke,

Running through fields of lavender, smiling, warmth, love, holding hands

I could trip, fall, splash into them, but I choose to continue, walking the tightrope…

Although I can’t see into the blinding darkness ahead,

I hope a thousand stars are waiting.

Fishing Rod

Fishing Rod

The rod glints in the silver moonlight,

Dripping the bait into the icy pool below

Waiting, waiting, a calm stillness fills the frosty air

A shadow creeps over the scurried ground afar

As the lake hums a tone of all those we have lost

Fishing for memories of times celebrated together

As one, as a group, in the faded burnt sky

A face among the darkened clouds shines

As their name is forever called amongst the wind

Door

Door

A door stands before me, red and green in colour and covered in silver tinsel

I am hoping behind it contains chocolate, like the gold coins I received as a child

Or a mountain covered in the whitest snow drifting along a painted pink sky

Or the people I love, playing games of Articulate and laughing over spilt pints of Coke.

But it could also contain the coldest, darkness, scariest moments of life, which I have shut away.

It may only be a door, but it contains so many possibilities.

I realise it is up to me to decide.

Entering 2023

Entering 2023

2022 was a memorable year.

It was filled with some tough times including being ill with lots of cough and colds; having coronavirus for the first time; Crohn’s disease flare-ups; and crying in toilets. I also had grief counselling to deal with the loss of my dad, who sadly passed away in his nursing home in April 2020 due to complications with his progressive multiple sclerosis. The grief counselling was really helpful as it gave me a safe space to talk about my feelings. As a family, we also remembered and celebrated the lives of my dad, grandma and close family friends. My love will always go out to all of you who have lost someone. It is never easy, but these loved ones will forever be in our hearts. We will always remember them.

It was also a year filled with some incredible moments. I made some good friends and spent time with them at the cinema, playing crazy golf, poker and pool. They mean a lot to me. I also travelled again including to the beautiful Norway and Greece. I also took part in creative writing open mic nights and raised awareness of hidden disabilities and mental health conditions on the radio and in everyday life.

One of my highlights of 2022 was how together we managed to raise over £3,000 for my charity wing walk for Crohn’s and Colitis UK and Dyspraxia Foundation. It was an amazing experience flying through the sky on a wing of a bi-plane, and to do it for two brilliant charities meant a lot. Thank you for all your kind support and donations.

Looking back, I managed to achieve my resolutions of 2022 by completing a challenge for charity; travelling more of the world; raising awareness of health conditions; spending time with those I care about; and also remembering those we have lost along the way. 2022 provided me with a lot of hope.

Resolutions for 2023

I am not going to set any concrete resolutions for 2023 as there does seem to be some pressure in order to achieve them. Instead, I want to spend time with friends and loved ones; to continue exploring more of the world; to raise lots of awareness of what it is like to live with Crohn’s disease, dyspraxia, anxiety and depression; and ultimately, to find myself.

I want a happier future for all of us. Take care of yourselves and remember you are amazing. If you ever need to talk, we are here for you. As I write this blog article, it is hailing in January 2023, but like dark days, it will soon ease and give way to brighter times. I believe in you.

Blue

Blue

Sky blue kites flying up into the wind as they glide over the hills and into the scorched horizon

Sea blue as we race into the waves, to splash, to slide before rushing out to protect our sandcastles

Striped blue along the bike as we cycle through lavender fields and let butterflies stroke our blonde hair

Faded blue, the colour of Paddington Bear’s coat, the toy you told me to look after as you knew, one day, you wouldn’t be there.

Last blue, the clear tears which fall onto the dust below as I say goodbye.

Blue, the colour which will always remind me of you.

Wing Walking

Wing Walking

On Thursday 15th September 2022, I completed a charity wing walk for Crohn’s and Colitis UK and Dyspraxia Foundation. The date and place were rescheduled due to poor weather conditions on Sunday 4th September 2022, but nevertheless I was still able to complete the challenge a couple of weeks later.

The experience of standing on the wing of a biplane as it flew into the sky was terrifying but also amazing. The wind was immense and the view of Kent below me was beautiful. Together we managed to raise over £2,600 for the two brilliant charities, who support me and countless others living with hidden disabilities.

I have written a poem titled ‘Wing Walking’, which explores some of the thoughts and feelings I had while flying into the sky. This can be found below:

Wing Walking

I stand on the edge of the biplane, the wing no doubt, flying through the misty air

Arms wide apart as the wind rips through my fragile bones and shivering skin

Do not touch the safety pin, are the words relayed in my mind from the training video

Somewhere behind me, is the pilot, doing his job diligently, I hope, as we dart through the sky, side to side, over the greenest fields below and the sheep beyond

I should be scared, but I’m not.

Even though the noise is howling through my ears and the cold is making my eyes tear up behind the googles, I can still see clearly

I think of them. All of them.

All of those who have been there for me through the struggles, through the loneliness, through the grief.

I think of him, wherever he may be now.

I hope Dad is proud.

---

Thank you so much for all your kind support and donations along the way. The Wing Walk Company were very professional and I would highly recommend them if you would like to have a go yourself. If you would still like to donate you can do online on my fundraising page found here, https://www.justgiving.com/team/jakeborrettwingwalk

Thank you for being there for me through my experiences of living with Crohn’s disease, dyspraxia, anxiety and depression. I hope Dad was watching from above and was proud. I will always look towards the sky with fondness, so thank you.

Why I am wing walking for Crohn’s and Colitis UK and Dyspraxia Foundation

Why I am wing walking for Crohn’s and Colitis UK and Dyspraxia Foundation

It started with my dad.

He was adventurous. He loved running, cycling and would travel across the globe. He never gave up and would make the most out of life despite his health condition. This mainly came in the form of his progressive multiple sclerosis. Over the years this forced him to use a walking stick, and then later a mobility scooter. Despite this, his daring side never stopped and he completed a tandem skydive for the Multiple Sclerosis Society in June 2009. It was remarkable how he flew up to 13,000 feet in order to take one giant leap into the sky.

It was only a couple of years later in May 2011, his health deteriorated even further to the extent he was transferred into a nursing home. He lost his ability to walk; was double incontinent; and it impacted his mental health too including through numerous anxiety, depressive and paranoid episodes. Nevertheless, he was my dad and we liked playing games together. His cheeky side never faded and we would have a good time despite his hardship.

I was so inspired by him, I completed my own tandem skydive for Crohn’s and Colitis UK and Dyspraxia Foundation nine years later, on the same date in June, at the same place at Hinton Skydiving Centre in Brackley on Thursday 28th June 2018. I was so happy he was able to come along on the day to watch me.

Then in April 2020, he died. He passed away in his nursing home due to complications with his multiple sclerosis. This left a huge hole in my heart. Grief is exhausting. It is upsetting. It causes anger. It was made worse because as a family we were not able to see other loved ones or go many places due to the coronavirus pandemic. These were some of my darkest days. I got through them thanks to the support from family, friends and two amazing charities, Crohn’s and Colitis UK and Dyspraxia Foundation, who were there for me again in times of great difficulty.

I have always wanted to take to the skies again, and this wing walk is my way of saying thank you to them. A wing walk involves standing on a wing of a bi-plane as it flies and summersaults through the air. I like to believe on Sunday 4th September 2022 as I fly into the blue Dorset sky, Dad will be watching me.

If you would like to donate to my fundraising pages, you can do so through the following links:

For Jake Borrett’s Team Page, please follow this link:
https://www.justgiving.com/team/jakeborrettwingwalk

To donate to Crohn’s and Colitis UK, please follow this link:
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Jake-Borrett3

To donate to Dyspraxia Foundation, please follow this link:
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Jake-Borrett4

Thank you for your kindness and for being there for me. It means a huge amount to me and the charities.

Tried

Tried

I sit at a wooden desk in the darkness surrounding me

Shadowy faces circle my empty piece of paper and discarded pencil

Dust from the ceiling falls into my eyes,

And although I should be blinded, I can see more clearly now.

Dad sitting in the garden helping me with my spelling by playing games of Countdown,

Mum encouraging me with confidence to get through tough, painful, tearful days,

Pressure inside my blood, building, up, up, up.

But whatever grade I may get,

I realise, I have tried.

Pancakes

Pancakes

The buttered smell of pancakes rises up my nose, and hums inside my ears.

Mum gently stirs the sugar inside the saucepan, crisping and browning.

My sister tosses and turns the fluffy treat into the thick air,

While Dad’s shaking fingers crack open the last box of eggs.

I notice a smile on his likened lips I have only seen once before.

It is warm, yet sad, as if he knows this pancake day is the last one he will share with us.

Friendship Is A Chocolate Bar

Friendship Is A Chocolate Bar

Friendship is a chocolate bar.

It is there for you at the end of a difficult day when you need a shot of hope.

It warms you up, and surrounds you with its wrapper, holding onto your hand.

It is filled with surprises and secrets which get stuck in between your teeth.

Sometimes though, it melts and crumbles away,

Leaving behind an empty hole in your stomach, inside your heart,

And smudges your fingers to remind you of better times.

But whether it is as colourful as a packet of rainbowed Smarties;

Fiery as the red scored along a Kit Kat bar;

Or as smooth as a silky Galaxy,

One thing remains the same.

We all want one.

We all need one.

Friendship is a chocolate bar.

The Sunshine Behind The Clouds

The Sunshine Behind The Clouds

2021 was another challenging year. I cried many times while driving, in toilets and whilst sitting in a university student bar. I had Crohn’s disease stomach pains and flareups; trapped wind issues; CT scans and ultrasounds to investigate bone cysts; and went through week-long dizzy bugs. It was an emotional time as both a supportive, loving family friend, and a super, gentle grandma passed away in the year. They will forever be in our hearts. I have said it before, grief is never easy, and I still think about my dad every day since he passed away in April 2020.

Going into 2021 I knew it was going to be another tough year. This is why at the start of 2021 I did not set myself any resolutions. Well, aside from one. I hoped 2021 was going to be a better, kinder, happier year than the one which came before it. I hoped it would contain some joyful, normal times together with others. To some extent this happened because June 2021 was the first time in over sixteen months, I visited my cousins. I was able to travel around the country more including going to parks, outdoor museums, rose gardens and restaurants. I also shared some fun times with friends by playing poker and pool with them. I additionally recited my poetry on Radio Verulam; and performed at a creative writing open mic night at University of Hertfordshire.

I started to capture the normal things which had been lost due to the coronavirus pandemic and the aftermath of grief. I understood that it is okay not to be okay; it is important to look ourselves and others; and friends, family, loved ones and all of you are so important to me. So, thank you.

Resolutions for 2022

As I write this article in the very early stages of January 2022, I am trying to remain hopeful. I am hoping some of the dark clouds that have appeared over the last couple of years slowly drift away, and the sunshine bursts behind them. With this in mind, I would like to set myself a few resolutions for 2022. These include:
› To complete a challenge for charity. This may involve taking to the skies once again but in a different way compared to my tandem skydive for Crohn’s and Colitis UK and Dyspraxia Foundation in 2018.
› To explore more of the world. I had an amazing time travelling to lots of countries in 2019.
› To continue writing and raising awareness of hidden disabilities and mental health conditions. This includes living with Crohn’s disease, dyspraxia, anxiety and depression. This could be on the radio or through writing.
› To spend more time with friends, family and loved ones.
› To remember those we have lost along the way.
› Ultimately, to be happier and to feel healthier.

The last few years have taught me life is so unpredictable. With this in mind, if I manage to achieve the above goals for 2022 then great, but if I do not achieve all of them, that is okay too. Remember to look after yourself, and thank you. Let us hope sunshine comes out from behind the clouds very soon.

A Traditional Christmas

A Traditional Christmas

Clumps of snow drift from the clouds above, sending the cobwebs away

Presents are unwrapped under the sparkling tree and toy cars are played

Turkey, roast potatoes, stuffing and all the trimmings are filled to the brim

Then it is time for a game of Charades while Grandma Enid falls asleep due to the gin

All before we huddle together around the fire as ghost stories are told and games are won

Until next year, where we will promise to have even more fun

A traditional Christmas is one which I now value so,

As so many loves ones sadly come and go.